Good-Bye Salli

The wolf pack was enjoying life in the mountains. They would go up in the mountains, and from far up they would shout calling our name. Sometimes spend hours on the rocks in the stream or lie down in the garden under the Sun. I would enjoy looking at them having a great time. Everyone who would come to Salli would just get dissolved in mother nature. No matter rich or poor, Indian or foreigner, men or women, they would all become childlike playing around with big smiles. There was some magic in the air. The month of October 2018 was about to end. The weather had become pleasant with signs of the early arrival of winter. Our morning breakfasts in the warm sunshine would happen sitting on the balcony. The ladies would make some delicious Israeli food like shakshuka, hummus, tahini, toasts and salad. I would make masala chai which was my only speciality. While simultaneously boys would get busy rolling the joints for post-breakfast chit chat time. We had all the ingredients to make life a celebration.

One morning after breakfast, chai and a couple of joints we all were sitting on the rocks in the stream next to the garden. Ynon and Eden were telling us stories from their childhood and teasing each other. Suddenly, Ynon said, 'Maratha, catch my phone.' making an act of throwing the phone. I thought he was kidding. But he wasn't. And he actually threw his phone in my direction without thinking we all were in the stream. I saw the phone flying towards me in slow mode. Also, I saw Ynon's eyes spreading in fear as I wasn't moving to catch the phone. Till the time I realised that he had actually thrown his phone at me, the phone had already reached close enough to punch me in my face. I fumbled to catch the phone. While juggling it multiple times from one hand to another in a haphazard manner, finally it made its way deep-diving into the stream. Ynon screamed in shock and ran to pull out the fully submerged phone. Just like me, he was also late. The phone died an instant death. Ynon asked me how could I not take a simple catch? I told him I didn't believe you would throw it in the first place. Everyone else was laughing at our stupidity.

Our neighbour's parents would often come to our house. We would call them Amma and Baba. They were just like our grandparents. I would find it difficult to understand them as they would only talk in the Gaddi language. But their love for me needed no understanding. Love transcends language. They would also try to talk with the Israelis in Gaddi. Somehow everybody would figure out what each other would be saying. That reminded me of our talks with Russian roommates in Goa. As winter was approaching so was our plan for Goa. It was getting difficult to leave Salli. We had to search for a new house as the previous house was not available that year. The uncertainty lurking in Goa about house and business was making us sceptical to leave Salli. But we had made our plans and probably that was the last year we would be going to Goa. Next year onwards we had planned to host the winter season in Salli. Leaving Salli felt like kids parting away from their mother.

Mountains Were Unforgettable. 

The Wolfpack

Most of the Israeli backpacker would travel in their own small closed groups strictly talking in Hebrew. They would usually socialize only with their own people. My first encounter with Israelis happened in Kasol during my first visit to Himachal. Their first impression for me was quite intimidating. Many had told me to not mess with the Israelis. They would walk everywhere with confidence like they had owned the place. The assertive tone in their voice with a big smile and an attitude of celebrating life made them apart from the crowd. They wouldn't shy away from standing for their rights and raising their voice, even putting up a fight. Shyness and Israelis were antonyms. They had proved their metal to the whole world with their ferocious fighting spirit. With that said I found them extremely beautiful and charming. Both men and women appeared as they had stepped out of heaven. God had blessed them with angelic looks. Who wouldn't want to be friends with such amazing people? While I was struggling with approach anxiety in Kasol, life had already planned a whole new chapter for me with a lifelong friendship with many Israelis.

     

Now back to Salli. The group of women who came with Noa had left, and a new group of young Israeli backpackers had arrived in Salli. They were among those people with whom I had connected really well and had shared beautiful moments of my life. To introduce them: Simon was a doctor, German-born, settled in Israel. His experience and knowledge of spirituality were exceptional. He would talk about life in his exceptionally fluent European English accent that even birds would come to the balcony to listen to him. We all would call him Simon - The King. Ynon was a senior ranking officer in the Israeli Defence Forces. His cool attitude didn't exhibit any military discipline or strictness. I found him incredibly friendly and funny. He wouldn't let us pass even a minute without making us laugh. Eden, his childhood friend living next door, was also travelling with him. Eden was a charming guy, always carrying a big smile and a phone next to his ears wherever he would go. We would enjoy these two childhood friends picking on each other. They would leave us in stitches.

Like every group of backpackers would have at least one creative and artistic person, that group also had one. Her name was Ora. She was a multitalented girl who was a writer, singer and musician. Her guitar and ukulele playing skills were exceptional. As she was a night owl, she would get up in the afternoon looking completely lost with her frizzy hair. She would sit in the balcony with her black coffee while Ynon would be zoned in with his often rarely seen military discipline, rolling a joint. Elior was part of the pack. He was really a sweet guy, always helping us around with his amazing energy. Everyone would call him Hanuman for his appearance. When we heard that for the first time, I and Madhu laughed our heart out. His friends would tease him constantly by that name. Sometimes he would get irritated and warn them not to call him Hanuman. His angry red face would make him only look like one, further escalating the teasing. We were lucky that he had no tail. Else he would have burned down Salli. Lord Ram was kind to us.

May He Bless Them Wherever They Are. 

Meeting Noa

The monsoon in the mountains was over as the month of October had just begun. It was the time when tourists would visit for short two months just before the snowfall. We just had finished the second round of construction wherein we had built two new rooms and one external bathroom. The preparation for the next season in April was almost complete. Again a small group of Israeli backpackers had started to show up in Salli before heading towards South. After returning from Manali I was having a renewed perspective towards life. I wasn't lying in self-sabotaging mindset worried about the uncertain future. In fact, I was excited about the challenges and new opportunities in the coming months. That time I was so fired up to take on the new tasks that I was ready to do any work as long as it would pay me. The question of what kind of work should I do was long gone. I just wanted to work while putting all my heart into it. I had never felt so much passion to work. For the first time, I was thinking in the direction of making my mark in the world. The upcoming struggle was looking exciting for me as if I had been turned into a warrior.

One fine day, a group of Israeli women came to Salli. They all were Madhu's friends and some of them had come to India only to meet Madhu. Among them was a woman with a happy demeanour, always carrying a big smile, helping us in the kitchen and very friendly to talk with. Her name was Noa. She would speak Hebrish which was a mixture of Hebrew and English. Noa was an independent woman who had earned a good name in the Digital space. She was really good at networking and managing people. As impressive as her professional career was, so was her outlook towards life. She had solutions for everything in her own unique ways. Her second name was Noa Solutions. Soon we discovered that she was also a fantastic cook. During her stay in Salli, she would cook different Israeli dishes for all. Her desire to help everyone to the best of her capacity was really admirable. No wonder Madhu and Noa were friends. Like attracts like.

In the evening everyone would gather in the kitchen next to the fire. While Noor would enjoy curling up into her mother's lap, the rest of us would feel blessed to witness the mother-daughter love. The late evening gatherings around the fire would be very special as it would make us feel like a big diverse family. One morning after breakfast, Madhu and Noa were sitting up on the balcony chit-chatting. She was telling Noa about my desire to find a job. After telling her all my educational background and past work experiences, Noa thought she could do something for me. Her kind and helpful nature came to my rescue in those difficult times. One evening, I and Noa were talking about how to proceed with the plan she had in her mind regarding work. That was somewhat related to my previous job after my MBA. I was more than excited to put my best foot forward. Those were the times when we had laid the foundation of the currently fully functional company in Himachal by sitting on the balcony at Salli. It was true that behind every successful man there was a woman. Whatever I was in my life, it was solely due to the contribution of all those great women in my life. Without them I was nothing.

My Mother, Sister, Madhu, Noor and Noa - Always Grateful To You All. 

Drugs Hypocrisy

Two days spent in Manali while attending the World Music Festival felt like two hours. I made a few new friends there with great vibes. We instantly connected like childhood friends. There was some magic in the air. I was still digesting the mind-altering experience I went through. In those two days, I might have slept hardly for 5 hours. The loud trans music beats were still ringing in my ears even if I was sitting in a silent place. My body was moving gently on the beats coming from beyond. We all were vibing to our internal music. Passersby would have found us crazy seeing us rocking our bodies without any music. That looked like we all had been possessed by some spirit. When you spend much time in the swimming pool or river, you would feel that your body was still in the water even if you had come out. Listening to super loud trans music for straight two days made our ears still play the music even in silence.

We left Manali on the third day at dawn. I was sitting in the back seat looking out of the window. Sun was about to rise from the snow-capped mountains. The cool morning breeze was bringing goosebumps on my skin. I was still cherishing the mystical experience from the festival. It was hard for me to believe that some substances were so potent to alter your consciousness and show you an entirely different perspective about your life. I felt like my brain had gotten rewired in some new unique creative pathways. I was suddenly thinking differently and looking at the world differently as if I had just born. My old depressed self was missing in that new day's sunrise. I had never experienced something of that power ever in my life. I wondered why those substances were banned, which carried such a great potency to transform our perspective towards life. I had done my homework before deciding to experiment with them.

I wasn't that kind of person who would judge things by watching the news channels or hearing gossip from those who hadn't stepped their toes into the water. If I would get curious about something, then I would prefer to explore that area all by myself after doing my homework rather than relying on others opinions. I was often laughed at and criticized for reading OSHO. Those who advised me to stay away from him were those who had never read his books, listened to his talks or done his meditations. They had chosen to get influenced by the media who had tagged Osho with evil titles. But I had tasted freedom in his words, and my love for him was greater than the mockery I was facing. Something had resonated deep within me after encountering that mad man. I didn't mind becoming an outcast. His talks were so rebellious and on taking down everything fearlessly, which was against life. He didn't spare governments, religions, priests and stupid rituals. I was fascinated by the truth he would speak so boldly and openly. I guess reading him deeply for several years had made me carefree about approaching things.

Osho himself had suggested the use of psychedelics for patients suffering from chronic depression. After doing my homework, I found out psychedelics like LSD, magic mushrooms and DMT were the least harmful and non-addictive drugs among their lot. To my surprise, alcohol was the most dangerous and addictive drug on the list, and yet that was legal all over the world. Alcohol and tobacco were responsible for getting into a bad lifestyle, many life-threatening diseases, and even deaths. No wonder alcohol was far more dangerous than heroin and cocaine. My rational mind was going for a toss. Why the hell alcohol wasn't banned along with the other drugs? If the world leaders and governments were so worried about the health of people, then they should have banned the most dangerous drug first, right? But it was legal. What hypocrisy! People were so naive to believe whatever the bullshit mainstream media would shove down their throats. These media houses would be mostly owned by big corporations and political parties whose vested interest was in enslaving the people to alcohol, tobacco, sugar and pharmaceutical medicines. That's where the money was.

Most of the diseases in the world would be the byproduct of stress, depression, consumption of alcohol, tobacco and sugar. Wasn't it wise to ban these deadly monsters first? But if psychedelics became legal which could take people out of their depression, stress and addictions, then who would buy pharma medicines, alcohol, tobacco and sugar? Government and corporations would be at a big loss. Everything should be kept under the microscope to study its harmful effects, and then only it should be labelled legal or illegal. And not based on how much money it generates. Even the bigger problem was that alcohol was branded with high status and a cool lifestyle by mainstream media. King of the good times was worshipped until he proved himself a devil. The ignorance was so widespread that the same people who would be sceptical about drinking a protein shake and would warn you about its side effects on the kidney were the same ones who wouldn't mind gulping sweets, white sugar, preserved shelf products and alcohol down their throats. What hypocrisy! At least some countries like the Netherlands and Switzerland were open enough to understand the benefits of psychedelics.

Exploring Taboo Was My Thing. 

The Psychedelics

Party was rising to its peak with everybody dancing passionately and wildly. The substance had taken its full effect by now. Super loud trans music was playing at 200 beats per minute. So fast and so loud that the mind had already shut down and only the body was dancing wildly to match the beats. Music was penetrating my soul, and it was destroying everything that which I was not. I had lost the identity and conditioning of who I was, kind of ego death. The only thing which existed at that moment was Music. Everybody dancing wildly around me seemed like a part of me. The thought of looking at them as men, women, young, old, Indian or foreigner was absent. They all felt to me like one energy who were dancing their souls out, beating from the same one heart. I was spread everywhere and in everyone. It was hard to differentiate between me and the other. I was going through some mystical and spiritual experiences like Satori. The substance was designed to alter the state of consciousness and open the door to instant Samadhi. I was dancing for 3 hours straight without any break. It was surprising to me to see the ultra-high-energy in my body.

I had never danced like that before. The usual dance in clubs would be mainly to impress girls or to get wasted with friends. But here nobody was looking at anyone to impress or engage. Everybody was dancing in themself with greater content on their face as if they had arrived home. I had never experienced such pure energy among 2000 people in one place. After 3 hours of dancing, I took a break and sat down at the side, looking at the entire place with amazement. I was still tripping with full power. I noticed the wristband I was wearing, which we all had got while entering the venue and were asked to wear compulsory as an entry sign. The name of the event was written on it: 'World Music Festival'. My eyes were stuck on that name, and suddenly, a mind-altering insight happened. I felt like the world which we all live in was nothing but a music festival. Hence, the name World Music Festival. We all are supposed to dance to the music the creation is playing. Wasn't that the only reason to enter the place, to dance? Everybody present in that place was dancing in their own way. Some dancing wildly, some sitting at the side moving gently to the beats, some talking with each other while rocking their body, the Dj playing music while dancing, some people selling at the food stalls while moving their heads on the beats. Everybody was doing their karma without forgetting to dance. Those who were sitting depressed had stopped listening to the divine sound. The Naad was audible to everyone, it's just that they had chosen not to listen.

The entire place looked like the circle of life from birth to death. People were entering the venue like they were born, then they were getting familiarised with the place, slowly getting into the groove of the music, some would continue to enjoy, dance, socialize while some would sit at the side depressed as no one would pay attention to them, soon the exhausted lot would exit the place depicting death. And the circle was moving with endless entry and exit of the mortals. That was the world we all were living in. Some were Dj's, some were volunteers, some were food stall owners, some were washroom cleaners, some were dancers. No matter what your Karma was in the world, everybody's Dharma was to listen to the divine sound and dance with your all heart as long as you were privileged to stay in the World Music Festival. I was stunned by what my eyes were showing me. I was still tripping heavily.

A sudden insight came to me, how to get out of this endless circle of entry and exit into this place? No matter how beautiful, attractive and full of life this place was, it was just moving in endless circles. Was there a way out to break that circle? And suddenly, my eyes fell on the giant mountain above the venue, at which foot the party was happening. That was the mysterious mountain I had ever seen. A dense fog was covering the mountain top making it more mystifying. Smaller snowcapped mountains around it were clearly signally the abode of Mahadev somewhere in that mighty mountain. He was above everyone and everything, untouched, unseen and unheard. My eyes were stuck on that dark mountain, and suddenly, I felt like I had completely lost interest in the music festival. Once upon the exciting place was now looking worthless in front of that mighty mountain. My body was part of the place but my attention, my soul was in the mountain I was spellbound at. I just wanted to get out of the endless circle of that music festival and was longing to get lost completely into that mountain. Suddenly, a voice roared from the mountain telling me to stay in the music festival till my time was not over there. But it was hard for me to find enjoyment in the party after looking at the mysterious mountain. The party seemed worthless. I was still tripping. One more time a voice roared from the mountain, 'You have been given entry into this World Music Festival as a gift to dance. So, Dance for me, not for others and not even for yourself. Dance Only For Me and you will find me even in the worldly parties.'

I Was Blessed With The Vishwaroop Darshan. 

Music Festival In Manali

After coming back from Kareri lake trek, we had settled down in our home for rest. Soon after few weeks, Madhu had her birthday. House was full of friends. That was a grand celebration. I made new friends from Punjab that night. They were fun to be with. They told me that they were going to Manali next week to attend a music festival. So they insisted I join them. They explained to me how that music festival would break all my self-limiting beliefs and would bring clarity to my life. I had never gone to such parties before, so I was clueless about how attending that event would solve my problems. They also shared their experiences in dealing with their personal issues and how some substances helped them to come out of their brain fog. That seemed like worth the chance as I was struggling to get out of my dark phase. Such time had come that I would have done anything to get out of my depression. I happily agreed to join them.

We left for Manali by 9:30 at night in one of our friend's SUV. Manali was an 8-hour drive. We planned to reach there by dawn and rest till 9 am as the event would start at 10 am. On the way, we took a short halt for dinner at some dhaba. On that pitch dark night, my friend was driving through the winding roads and often through bad patches. There were only three of us in the car. We were sharing our life stories with each other while in the background trance music beats were vibrating the car. That was a memorable 8 hour-drive. We reached Manali around 6 am. I instantly recognised the roads as that was my second visit to the city. My first visit was when I had come to Himachal for the first time. Our other friends also joined us soon who had come from Delhi and other cities. We were 25 among us. Our guesthouse was booked near the event ground. Everybody crashed on the bed after the long night drive. We got up at 11 am with news that the event would be starting late around 1 pm. There were many apple trees outside the guesthouse. That was the first time I had seen them. We all were plucking apples from the tree for our breakfast. A lot many things were happening to me for the first time in that magical Manali. Soon we all got ready and headed towards the event.

I was stunned looking at the event place. It was situated at the bottom of the mountain, a big stream was crossing from its edge, on which they had built adventure sports activities like, zip-lining, rock climbing etc. The whole event ground was covered with colourful canopies, a Dj area at the front covered with designer canopies, a food stall on the left, washrooms at the back and many volunteers at the front gate to check the tickets. We entered the venue after clearing the formalities. There were more than 500 enthusiasts in that place and more than 1500 were expected to join by the nighttime. The majority of the crowd was of Israeli backpackers. I wasn't surprised. For my friends that was a usual experience as they were regulars to attend such parties. It was me who was awestruck with such an environment. I was made well aware of what the party would be all about. I was ready to experience something which I had never experienced before.

The main event was expected to start after 4 pm. The techno trance music had already started. The lineup of Dj's was such that the famous ones were to play at night. Slowly the music had started drawing people on the floor near the Dj chamber. Everyone was grooving to the initial beats. Seemed like a warm-up for the main event. The kind of people I was witnessing on the floor reminded me of the Arambol beach in Goa. Unusually dressed people with dreadlocks, tattoos and piercings on their body. I would always refrain from judging people by their looks and clothes. On the contrary, that would ignite a curiosity in me to know such people closely. There was beauty in appreciating diversity. After chit-chatting with my friends, I was roaming around the place in complete gratefulness. Life was presenting me with such unique experiences which I could have only imagined. The music had started casting its spell over everyone while I was waiting for the substance consumed to take effect.

A Mind-Altering Experience Was Dawning Upon Me.

Kareri Lake Trek

Monsoon had started its descent in the mountains. Rains would be irregular as the last week of August was approaching. Days would get foggy, making the mountains disappear in their dense cover till the Sun would shine through them. Some drizzles would come along with the sunshine making the grand entry for an immensely multicoloured rainbow. Somedays I would spot 2-3 rainbows overlapping from different angles, something which I had never experienced. The fog would fill the balcony, further making its way into the rooms. That would remind me of my hostel days in Lonavala. Mountains would be in their glory in the monsoons. Everything would come to life in those months. There was a Janmashtami festival in a few days. It was the celebration of Lord Krishna's birthday. Every mountain top would have a temple of Lord Shiva, no matter which mountain you would climb in the Himalayas. All devotees would march up to the temple to celebrate Janmashtami as a yearly ritual. Hundreds of people from all walks of life would be seen climbing uphill making the mountain look more alive.

                       

The nearby mountain for us to climb was Kareri which was famous for its lake on the top. Hence, the name Kareri Lake trek. That was the same place that I had planned to visit during my first visit to Himachal. But that remained unchecked from my list as I chose to stay in Salli only. One of our friends from Pathankot decided to join us on the trek. Rishav was a 22-year-old young businessman, way too mature for his age. He would always come to Salli with great energy and a big smile on his face. His friendly and down-to-earth attitude towards everyone made him unique. Being successful at a young age didn't make him arrogant, rather made him more grounded. We were sitting on the balcony for breakfast just before we could make our move uphill for 5 hour-long treks. The fog was covering the entire mountain while I was getting lost in my brain fog. The ambiguous future arising from a clueless career and unstable income was driving me crazy and my self-worth was crushing down every day passed by. I had started facing Identity Crisis. Who am I? What am I doing? What do I want to do? What work defines me? Where do I stand in the world? Why am I not financially secure even after so much education and experience? All these thoughts would cloud my mind creating thunderstorms, lightning, followed by hailstones pelting and ending with a foggy state of mind.

We started the climb as our neighbours joined us with their kids. The trail was heavenly beautiful. Many villagers had set up free food tents on the way for the devotees. It was their offering to the people. They would invite every passer-by with love and respect to share what they had prepared for all. The innocence and devotion of the people in the mountains were unparalleled. There were crystal clear streams, small bridges, sky-high cedar trees, and intimidating foggy mountains to climb. I felt like I had stepped into heaven. We were carrying a tent, as the plan was to spend a night at the mountain top and return the next morning. The usual excitement for climbing was missing in me. On the way, Madhu and Rishav were helping me talk out what was troubling me. No matter how much you share, the problem gets solved only when you were willing to solve that. I was falling into a whirlpool of a depressive state. When you become your own enemy, then destruction would be guaranteed.

After 5 hours of leg-breaking trek, we finally reached the top. The beauty up there was beyond any words to describe. An old temple of Lord Shiva was built next to the large and transparent lake. Devotees were making their way in and out of the temple while seeking the blessings of Mahadev. Just outside the temple in an open area, the villagers had arranged for Prasad, a devotional offering for god which was shared among devotees. The fresh food after the long trek was satisfying. We set up our tent at the farthest corner of the lake from where both mountain and lake were fully visible. The night spent in that tent under the stars was worth the memory. The tent wasn't a five-star hotel but was definitely a billion-star experience. Lord Shiva was known as the god of destruction. I had seen much of creation in my life till then. The universe had already rolled dice for me and the arrival of the eminent destroyer was clear.

Shiv Tandav Had Just Begun.