Friend From Kerala

For 4 months, I was swinging between Salli and Naddi like a pendulum. My reason to be in Himachal was to live in Salli with Noor and Madhu. But my desire for money was driving me to Naddi every week. I knew that swinging wouldn't last long as I had tasted enough of hippie life to not get confined into some office. Thoughts of saying goodbye to Naddi and the office were crowding my mind. I was facing trouble in confessing that to Noa as she had brought the project in my name. Or was also leaving for Israel and me abandoning the project midway didn't feel right. It was me who had asked Noa for a job one year back when I was feeling aimless in life. And now I had the job of a project manager. Yet I was not happy with the way life was going. I guess I had no eyes to see the abundance life had offered to me because I was busy complaining about what I was missing.

I had grown up as a self-centred and emotionally dry person who would choose things, people, situations and places for his own pleasure and benefit. In the event of pain and difficulty, backing out had become my habit. All I was looking for was a pleasurable life without going through any pain. Taking emotionally charged decisions, hopping through different careers, leaving things halfway and starting something new was my forte. That was the reason I hadn't reached anywhere and was unhappy about everything in life. When one would get stuck in ungratefulness then every decision they would take would prove nothing but digging their own grave. If someone else had seen the way I was living they would have felt jealous. Even though our family had gone through bad financial situations when I was growing up, my mom and dad never let me feel the poverty. I was raised like a prince. Sitting in the office of Naddi I would miss my mom, dad and sister who were in Maharashtra.

On one weekend I went to Salli after my usual shopping of the vegetables on the way. Or also had joined me as he was going to leave India soon and wanted to be in Freedom Vally again. We were expecting one of our friend from Kerala, Libin. We had met him in Goa at Hill Top during the Sunburn festival. There was one more friend with him that night in Goa but he didn't come to Salli then. Libin was happy to see us all and be in the mountains. His English was alright just to carry a bare minimum conversation. Madhu, Noa, Or, Libin and me were together after 6 months. He was enjoying the mountain life, going on small treks, meeting local kids and retiring to the fire in the kitchen. There were many backpackers in the house at that time as the season was going to end soon. Libin came with me and Or to Naddi when we left Salli. His bus to Kasol was at night so we went to drop him at the bus stop.

Everybody was leaving Naddi for some or other reason.